My emotions are sometimes triggered by present day circumstances even though the original cause of the reaction is long gone.
Learning to rewrite my life so that I have so many positive, enjoyable, pleasurable activities which comfort me and make me happy has been a most rewarding challenge.
I have longer and longer periods of happiness and productivity.
Now, on the more and more rare occasions when an emotional reaction shuts me down, I know it will be for a fairly short time.
Overcoming my reactions to situations which used to keep me incapacitated for weeks at a time has been tough, only because I had no idea how to do it.
I knew how to survive.
I knew how to “bloom where I was planted”.
I knew how to distract myself from abuse.
But I didn’t know how to rewrite myself from the inside in order to stop attracting negative circumstances.
Learning that I could rewrite my life has helped.
Learning tools and techniques with which to do so has been powerful.
Learning to listen from within to find those tools and techniques has been most rewarding.
Since I knew how to listen within for creative ideas, it was a case of gaining a new vocabulary for my emotions.
I learned to seek out and enjoy activities which I like.
I learned I did not have to endure situations which took away from my happiness and self-respect.
I began trying out doing things that I like.
I found organizations composed of other people who do those activities.
I began to feed my soul.
Now, I have taken so many steps in the direction that matches my best sense of myself.
They have been simple steps, but are so effective.
I love me.
I love what I like to do.
I love me doing it.
I have built a new life for myself.
I still have to add reinforcements.
The old stuff is that persistent and deeply ingrained.
But I have made great progress and I will continue to do so.
© 2013 Kathryn Hardage
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